Ivan Turk was originally (and still is, though exclusively no longer) not a band but a single human male, an archaeologist as a matter of fact. A Croatian one, to be precise. Whilst on a dig in the Idrijca valley in that country he uncovered the oldest known musical instrument, a simple ocarina about a thousand times older than a quarter of Ivan Turk (the band). Or 20,000 years old, if you prefer simplicity. His name is used without any sort of permission being sought or granted, but we like to think that in some small way we're keeping his discovery alive as well as its confirmation of music as a timeless and universal language.

In terms of the band, it is or was the brainchild, or at least neuronfoetus, of lead singer/songwriter and guitar abuser Paul Thompson, a 21-year-old university dropout who has spent the last couple of years growing his hair, developing ideas above his station and honing a previously undiscovered talent for music - which you might argue remains undiscovered - by recording songs on his home PC, playing all the instruments himself.

By summer 2005 he decided they were not-crap enough to show to other people who played instruments too and were therefore a little harder to impress...one of these was erstwhile college cohort Harper, whose public-school-style lack of a forename belies the fact that he went one better than his friend and dropped out during sixth form instead. Despite being a better guitarist than Paul he was persuaded to play bass and the nascent Ivan Turk was born - hurrah - with Harper's permastoned ska-punk aesthetic adding fuel to the songwriting inferno it was soon to become.

After a couple more weekends irritating the hell out of Paul's neighbours with garage-based jam sessions like all real bands, the desperate, pleading call for a drummer was answered by none other than gig-experienced tubthumper and professional skiver Bask, whose Stoke location meant that travelling was going to become an issue. Being slightly older than, probably wiser than and equally cynical to the rest of the band his ability to keep giant frontman egos in check has come in very handy, along with his ability to drum like a fucking maniac, of course.

After experimenting with two different lead guitarists, Ivan Turk have come to the conclusion that they perform and sound better as a trio, and will be continuing on this basis at risk of aneurysm and bankruptcy when they eventually realise exactly how much kit and how many limbs they will need to work in all the elements they want to use live.

In the meantime, Ivan Turk are jamming regularly at Tremolo's in Stoke, seemingly next-door to Coldplay and round the corner from numerous identikit emo/death-metal bands. We normally start each session with Nirvana covers so as not to attract unwanted attention, then work hard at getting the ever-expanding first batch of songs nailed down and as tight as fashionably sloppy NME-friendly commercial radio airtime guaran-fucking-teed cock-sorry-rock music ever gets...this is a process which will hopefully be completed in time for a series of proposed gigs and demo recordings in Summer 2006, the majority of which are thanks to Sian and her MySpace Face - who seems to have become our de facto manager - Andy at Tremolo's and Gavin at the Magic Garden Recording Studios in Wolverhampton. Thank you one and all...

Ivan Turk, the band, then. There you are. We want to change things, even if it's only a mind or two. We want to be heard, even if you can't make us out too clearly above the feedback. We have something to say, and now we have a way to say it. We're old enough to have a clue and young enough to be earnest, soft, marketable, sincere, angry, angsty, appealing. We will gladly suck on the giant music industry dick and do all the coke and hookers you want to confirm your expectations. We'll gig anywhere, at a moment's notice. We're hungry.

And we've come to eat your children.

NB: All the MP3s we can upload at the moment are basically internal band demo's - i.e. what Paul knocks up at home on Cubase so the rest of the band has an idea what he's on about when he says "I've written this song..." Sooner or later we'll get a proper demo cut with a proper recording engineer, and it'll sound much better. Thanks for your patience...

Oh yeah...leave us a comment too, would you? It means a lot to us as people to know that we're connecting with someone else, whether it be negatively or positively, and we'll do the same for you - if you're a band - or just engage in lengthy e-mail conversations about music - politics - philosophy - society, along with lighter subjects such as bees, thunder, purple and kaleidoscopes (if you're a listener).

Members of the unsigned/underground music scene HAVE TO start working together and supporting each other - turning up to shows, buying EPs, plugging where possible - if it is to make the record industry pay real attention to what it really means.